Listening -- and Being Heard

Photo by Supernal Geography.

A big part of my current work in technology is listening -- one-on-one interviews, requirements gathering, and problem solving. In my prior life as a full-time, professional musician for over 15 years, I did a LOT of listening, too; that's a core part of any musician's job.

But there's definitely an art to making people feel heard when you're trying to solve their organizational or technical problems, as well.

Working in Product Management relentlessly challenges you to talk less, listen more, and really be present for others. If you don't, you end up potentially making a giant mess of things, including solving the wrong problems, doing extra work needlessly, and/or completely missing the point someone was trying to make, either verbally or tacitly.

Three basic tools I'm using over and over:

1) Silence: Patiently leaving air in the room for someone to think and respond.

2) Mirroring: Saying back to them what you are hearing them say.

3) Follow-up: Afterwards, putting in writing what you heard, and giving them a chance to see that and give you feedback on that.

I really, really love helping people solve their problems -- which, as I'm learning, usually starts by actively making sure they feel heard in the first place.